Resolve
by fool-kitty
Summary: Because sometimes...that's all a person wants to know.


A/N: So I was at a buffet. This kept annoying me throughout the entire time I ate. As soon as I come home, my fingers begin typing out...this. I'm not an avid shipper of the two, but I can relate to Shirley when it comes to Lelouch. That...and I didn't ever want her to die. D:

Let's pretend that this occurred after Narita, but before...everything. And let's also pretend that it happened on New Year's. Hey, it's fanfiction. Also excuse the rushed work...

Disclaimer: If I owned Code Geass, it wouldn't be as epic and heart-breaking of a series. -_-

* * *

She couldn't sleep.

The idea of drifting off and letting her subconscious run rampant in her dreams seemed so appealing to her, but something protested against the idea. What that interference was though, she couldn't find out for the life of her. The soft glow from the moon slipped in from the windows, lighting the room in an almost dreamlike sequence.

Now if only whatever bothered her could let her sleep at this very moment.

"Shirley," the girl's roommate grumbled with drowsiness evident in her voice, "…stop fidgeting in your bed. It's making a lot of noise."

"Sorry…" She didn't even know she was fidgeting in her bed. Maybe that was what kept her from dozing off like her roommate over there. She laid still for a moment, waiting for her eyes to slowly close and let her have her much needed sleep.

After what seemed like a few hours (in reality, five minutes), Shirley immediately stood up and grabbed her coat. If she couldn't sleep, then she would try every method she saw on television to make her body sleep. It sounded like a wise idea to her and so she closed the door with much caution so she wouldn't wake up the other girl.

As the young student set out on the streets, she began contemplating on the things that plagued her mind. One example of the invasion was why she couldn't sleep. Another was how she wouldn't make it through school tomorrow if she didn't sleep soon.

Milly knew how to run her team ragged, what with the magic spells and the paperwork. Rivalz almost never shut his mouth and Nina typed away on the small computer in the corner of the room. Kallen seemed to be the sane one, working away or watching the scene of a dysfunctional group of friends. And then…

_Lelouch._

Her face suddenly flushed with warmth as the train of thought focused on her rather aloof friend. He always had the most solemn face she had ever seen. His facial expressions never changed, nor did his tone of voice. Well…except when he spoke with Nunnally. He often doted a lot of affection to his little sister. But when she was away at physical therapy or at home with her maid, Lelouch spoke with such sarcasm and bitterness.

That is, if he even said anything. Often, the boy disappeared on one of his gambling trips or skipped school AND half of the student council meeting. If it wasn't for the obvious connections to the Ashford family (he has a room right down the hall from the student council room!) and his seemingly genius intelligence, he would have been gone and out a long time ago.

And she never wanted that to happen.

The feelings that she attempted to cover up every day began to take a hold of her thought process.

The car accident and his almost expressionless face as he set the hook underneath the car's bumper to tow it away. She first saw him that fateful day a couple of months ago. Or was it a year ago? She couldn't remember the exact date, but she did remember the day she fell in 'like' with him. She wouldn't call it love until she realized the complete feeling she had when he smiled her way and actually spoke with her in a kind voice. After that day, she set out to speak with him and try to pry a smile out of him.

Her heart fluttered when Lelouch introduced himself and gave a faint smile. Her heart felt stinging pain a few seconds later when he sat down with the same face; empty eyes, a scowl almost present, and the cold aura emanating from him.

The thoughts of the raven haired boy took away so much of her awareness that she didn't realize her walk took her to Ashford Academy.

A friendly voice called her name, which snapped the girl out of her thinking trance and turn around swiftly only to see the person who she had been thinking about for a while now.

"Shirley, what are you doing all the way out here?" His amethyst eyes held confusion and his face didn't have that scowl in place. Maybe he wouldn't blow up on her about her safety or something…

"Umm…," the ground suddenly seemed like the most interesting thing in the world to her, "I couldn't sleep, so I decided…to take a walk." She accidentally showed her fear through the shaky and unsure voice.

The boy paid heed to the obvious discomfort she emitted. He also swore he saw a tint of pink dash across her cheeks, but he couldn't be sure about that since her head tilted down. Her sunset-colored locks of hair fell around her face, making it harder to even see her face. He sighed for a moment as he contemplated of how to approach the situation.

Seeing a flash of lime green behind Shirley, Lelouch traced the color to a certain witch and suddenly, his eyes held irritation. He had been looking for C.C. for almost an hour and she finally decided to show herself when he was speaking with Shirley. As he mustered up the most terrifying glare he could manage at the witch, he found a devious smirk plastered on her normally stoic face. C.C. started mouthing her words to Lelouch, hoping that he would understand. As she pronounced each syllable of the sentence, Lelouch found his face feeling warmer and warmer.

_…you two look like a couple._

"Umm…Lulu? Are you okay?"

He flinched for a moment, almost forgetting that Shirley stood right in front of him. She looked at him with concern and curiosity dancing around in her spring-colored eyes. He struggled for composure as he found C.C. laughing at his sudden lack of control.

_The witch will suffer for this, _the dark thought briefly fleeting through his mind.

Shirley found this a bit awkward. The normally calm boy now looked like he wanted to hurt something with the way his eyes burned with passionate anger. Oh no…he wasn't angry at her, was he? Was it the hesitation? The fear? The absence of eye contact? Or was it the concern of her walking around aimlessly in the streets? The questions clogged up her thoughts as she tried to figure what to do to make sure he calmed down.

Crackling sounds from the sky broke both teenagers' trances.

"Fireworks…?" Shirley questioned the dazzling colors of red and white and orange while Lelouch started panicking, hoping it wasn't the Black Knights, Tamaki, or Britannia army doing something stupid.

It took about a minute for the importance of the fireworks to sink in for the girl.

"Oh, that's right…today is New Year's eve." Lelouch quickly glanced at the girl, now realizing that another year was about ready to move on.

Shirley remembered her roommate saying something like that earlier in the day, but didn't really pay attention to it because...well, it's Sophie.

Maybe this was what bothered her? The feeling of another year gone?

All three spectators (C.C. kept snickering at Lelouch) heard the countdown from the downtown area.

10...

Shirley suddenly felt weight on her shoulders. Wasn't the tradition of New Year's eve supposed to be…she felt her cheeks warming up again.

9...

The girl glanced at Lelouch, wondering if he realized…

8...

Lelouch noticed the heated stare from Shirley and with a faint reminder from C.C., realized why she looked at him like that.

7...

He didn't even think Shirley was that type of girl! Maybe Milly's…adventurous personality was starting to affect Shirley. He would need to talk to the president about that.

6...

No…he didn't seem to realize at all. Shirley surveyed his face and his eyes…his eyes dazzled her more than the vibrant show of fireworks.

5...

Lelouch faintly realized his hands were slick with sweat and found it a bit harder to breathe. Should he…no, that would make things awkward. Not to mention C.C. would taunt and blackmail him to no end.

4...

She saw the surprised glimmer in the endless pool of eyes, which meant that he knew…but now what scared her more was whether he would or not...

3...

_Damn it._ The thought summed up his situation in an instant. Should he do it…or not? She looked like she wanted it, but he didn't want to take advantage of her.

And give the witch behind her even more motivation to fluster him.

2...

C.C. wanted to go behind the girl and push her into his chest, but she felt that was unnecessary. Just watching Lelouch plotting things out like he was locked in a chess match or fighting against Cornelia on the battlefield amused her enough.

Especially the flustered look in his eyes.

1...

'_He's not going to do it…_', Shirley realized in disappointment. He wasn't leaning in or holding her waist or holding her chin up as he laid his lips onto hers…

"ZERO!"

The fireworks display became even more lively as the amount of colors almost tripled. Shirley took tentative steps back from the boy, not letting the obvious disappointment appear in her voice.

"I should be getting back now…Sophie is probably concerned about where I am."

Without even saying good night, she walked away from Lelouch, hoping that tears wouldn't start to fall.

A strong grip of her wrist stopped her from even taking one step. As she turned around, the girl saw the conflicted emotions battling in his ever so revealing eyes.

C.C. watched through the bushes intently.

_You idiot! Why'd you grab her? Now she's going to expect something! _For a moment, he berated himself for even reaching out for her. What could he give her? He didn't want to mess with her and give her false hope. The rebellious prince had a war to fight and he didn't have the spare time to devote to a girlfr-

He couldn't even finish the thought as images of Shirley holding his hand and smiling invaded his mind. For a brief moment, he wondered how soft her lips were…

NO.

He did not just…

C.C. chuckled to herself when she saw the briefest show of embarrassment flicker in his eyes.

The former eleventh prince of the Holy Britannia Empire, Lelouch vi Britannia, and the leader of the Black Knights, Zero, just had a thought about soft lips. With such a shocking image, Lelouch let go of her small and fragile wrist and looked away with a blush now coloring his face.

Shirley felt her heart flutter a bit when she noticed pink on his cheeks. Jumping to yet another conclusion, she now felt flustered at the possible thought of Lelouch thinking like that. She always thought Lelouch carried himself in such a mature manner that he didn't think…like that at all. Maybe Milly was starting to change Lelouch…?

"Resolution…" She heard the boy in front of him mumble quietly.

"…what about it?" Her curiosity peaked at the word. Another aspect of New Year's besides the…lips were the resolutions. Lelouch seemed too apathetic to even care much about the daily life of school, so for him to mention a resolution, it interested her to hear what he had to say.

Would he want to be smarter? No…he already excelled in almost every subject.

Did he want to be stronger or lose weight…? That thought made her giggle a bit. Lulu would never attend Phys Ed after the entire dodge ball incident. Besides, she knew how he lacked in strength and it made her feel better that she could carry more paperwork than him.

Maybe it was to be nicer…? Wait…he's bitter and sarcastic even to Suzaku, his best friend. Why would he suddenly resolve to be kinder?

"Resolutions…my resolution…"

She waited on baited breath for the rest of his sentence.

"I want to be with my friends…family…I want to live happily."

Oh.

That's it? Shirley wanted more, but didn't want to push him to the limits.

Lelouch felt nostalgia assault his mind. He wanted the past of his mother and Euphie and Nunnally and the present of his friends to meld together in this seemingly perfect dream of a world. And Shirley…he didn't know what to do with her yet, but he did know that he wanted her to be happy.

C.C. watched in surprise as Lelouch took Shirley's hand and looked intently at her.

"I also resolve to make you happy."

He held her hand for a while before letting go and saying good night to her. Shirley…her face seemed to resolve wanting to turn into a tomato.

The old witch would blackmail him for months to come with this.

As she walked out of the gates of the school, she felt fatigue wash over her and a tingling feeling lingering from the warmth of his hands.

_I resolve…to make you smile. _The innocuous girl thought with determination as she quickly maneuvered her way back to the dorms.

A few weeks later, it would all go to ruin.

_Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve._  
_Benjamin Franklin _

* * *

A/N: I know that kiss should have happened, but you know darn well Shirley is too hesitant to even think about it and Lelouch is too...clueless (?) to attempt it. AND it had to be somewhat bitter at the end...pessimistic all the way. -_-

Happy New Year!


End file.
